Mommy?

I cried through half of dinner last night. Backtrack...

There was a period of time in our family, like most, when my mom went through hard times. The thing about my mom is, she's the type of person to keep it all inside for the well being of the family. The only way that I could tell that she was upset or tired was through her eyes which would droop and look awfully sad even when she was smiling.

Well, yesterday for the first time I met my mom's older sister. She not only had the EXACT same hands and same little habits (picking off a piece of tape and rolling it in her fingers), but, she had my mom's "stressed" eyes. I think a combination of jetlag, being away from mom, and being surprised by my aunt's resemblance to my mom made me suddenly erupt into tears, the kind of tears that fall silently and without ceasing.

I felt awful for crying... here was my aunt who had travelled just to see me, who grew up with my mom in such hard times... and here was the spoiled American girl who lives in the land of opportunties. What right did I have to cry?

And yet, the tears fell into my water, my soup, and my lap every single time I looked at my aunt and saw her sad sad eyes. How blessed we are to live in the United States where the poor can become rich and those who work hard are rewarded at the end of the day.

I never get homesick, but, last night I was. Seeing all these brand new family members, finally putting faces to stories, living in the section of the city where my mom grew up... all of it is making me long to complete the tree and have my parents here too.